Paper and Plastic...

Hello out there,
todays post will be some back to the roots, as I wrote about the things I think behind the painting then.
Some of you might remember the article One night - One miniature or thoughts about diversity. This one had some attention and made his way round the world wide web.

I also wrote about every day life situations and philosophy back then, and I'm starting to feel this was an important part of this blog and should start again. We don't paint a miniature every day, but we think all the time.

So let's get to business, shall we?

Today I want to talk about some serious issues for most of us, my personal all time enemy money and our collections. Let's start with the first.
You can admire or hate it, you just don't get around it, unless you decide to live in the woods. We all have to pay our bills, our rents and daily needs. Maybe we have some loved pet or friends and partners we like to support. Some things necessary, some not in everyones eyes but even more important in my opinion.
And then, there is the hobby. To assure you, this won't be bashing around how expensive our hobby became. Most hobbies are. And sometimes, this is fine. As long as capitalism lives on, you won't get quality for many people cheap. Thats just the way it works. I came to the conclusion that I could walk away any time, quit my gaming and painting or change to cheaper variants. This is up to me, but I feel quite well with the things I do right now (this is what a hobby should do besides).
Several questions appear.

What worth has money for one self? 
Do you like the big numbers on your financial accounts? Then you probably should consider a different hobby. I think most of us won't ever be that rich to through money around us. This love will be expensive. It means buying armies and rulebooks if you are a gamer, or expensive miniatures produced in small batches and materials if you are a painter. For most of us, it means not to spend money on other things, to say no to other stuff.
And for me this is absolutely ok.
I used to dreamed of tons of money, just as nearly everyone does at any point of his life. The dream became bitter with the time, while the things I bought (in this case all the stuff that fills my studio now and allows me to work with great possibilities) brought joy. With the years my opinion on money changed (as did my political point of view, but thats another story). I could have some thousand Euro laying around, or being pushed into a car, partying or what the heck there are enough examples. The simple fact is, this wouldn't make me happy.
I embrace what seems to be a poor life to other people, that don't know how much color or expressing one self is worth for the soul.

How much money do I actually need to spend to keep on going?
I think this hobby wouldn't be that expensive, if people (I count me in here) could handle that question. Unprimed army? Ok, you want to play. But how many things gathering dust in their sprues do you have?
Well, let's say with ashamed voice there were and are many of them here.
I got tons of stuff I won't ever need I guess. Maybe some of the things i must say no to wouldn't be necessary to cut of, if I found the balance.

That leads us to the second part, our collections.
To start this part, let me say I killed mine. Again and again.
I started like ten years ago...to be honest I can't really remember when the hobby smashed into my life.
Having 20 Euro a month, plus some little money I earned mowing lawns and alike, I really just had what was needed. Then I discovered something great and hellish alike...Ebay. Suddenly I had the possibility to lay my hands on old miniatures I could strip the paint of, on books long out of production, limited stuff...oh god my life changed that day and I became a hardcore collector. Indeed, I always was. Starting with stones, glass sherds, feathers I collected since I was a little kid. Some people say thats the way people with star sign cancer are...hey it's an excuse, isn't it^^
But this was different, it needed to be paid. I own some treasures I am very proud of and that were really hard to get, searching the web week for week. And there is the rest...tons of miniatures, paints and even unboxed kits. You all know that, damn that looks so cool...I could convert that one day or play the army another...spiral of doom.

I reached the point of to much a few times, and than I sorted out. It always hurt and I hated it. This year brought the biggest sale out, I ripped the collection apart that had accompanied me through three flats, years of life and some hard times. Over thirty packages, some whole armies left my life forever. And it burnt, it hurt it nearly drove me mad...but I had to pay my next year of studies and there was a simple logic of what was more important.

I am doing it again right now. You'll find the links at the end of this article. But again, something is different.
It doesn't hurt this time.

 I needed money, not for my rent, not for my studies but for something I love spending it for. To visit my girl in Japan, celebrating new year with her, a year we will discover together. Flesh and blood, real life feelings, a human being. I almost didn't go because I just couldn't afford it. One night, I stood in my studio, looking at all the books, the kits...and I realized again something had changed in my heart and mind. For the first time I saw just paper and plastic. I am not talking about the treasures of cause, they are as special for me as they always were...but I also knew, deep done that I would sell them, If life would require it to help out the people I love. Letting go doesn't feel that hard this time, indeed it's easy. Stuff I never thought I actually didn't need is for sale.
And it  doesn't feel like ripping my collection apart, more like sorting out and making room for more things, things I didn't just find cool but I love to own.

I will collect again, I know and I don't fight it.
But this change in mind showed me what this collecting is all about for me. Not about owning all this stuff, having it as material, just in case I could need it sometimes.
It is about the collecting, the thrill to finally get your hands on something and as the stones and sherds and feathers back in the old days....sharing it with someone. I always gave them away in the end or showed them to my parents, so they could share their beauty. I remembered these days.

Having them all laying around for eternity never was the point. Not for me.


If you are still reading, here is an opportunity to add something to your collection.
Maybe you will give it away someday, but it will bring you joy until then I think.
Codizes, rulebooks, kits and a nice painted tank are up this week...find them here on Ebay.

Have a nice day my friends